Lights will guide you home

Tonight, I'm feeling down.  I don't know why, I guess it's a lot of things.  I decided to just write about it.  I think everyone else is tired of hearing me vent and complain.  But I guess that is what my blog's here for.

You know, I think it'd be so cool if my blog became something big someday.  Like those people who have really popular blogs with beautiful templates with such great writing skill.  My dream is to start a beauty blog.  With cute hairstyles and makeup looks.  Lately, I haven't really cared about either of those things.  I have realized that they don't matter.  I care so much about how I look.  But I know that the people who love me will love me no matter what I look like.  I don't have to be a supermodel or have flawless skin.  None of that matters and I feel so stupid for caring so much about it.  Why couldn't I have cared less about that earlier and put more effort into my friendships and relationship?

I guess it isn't only me.  It seems like that is what the world is coming to.  Looks and beauty and success.  Those are all so superficial.  Things that really matter in life are people.  I think people put too much effort and time into things and not showing love to others.  It makes me sad.

I just heard thundering, I think.  Isn't it December...?  Haha.  That's weird.  I like rain though.  I love it.  It's so peaceful.  People think it's crazy that rainy weather is my favorite weather.

I wish everything would be how it used to be.  I miss high school.  I know people say college years are supposed to be the best, but I don't see it.  That's probably just me right now.  I don't even know what my point of this is.

My friend keeps saying I need to take things one day at a time.  Yeah, I know, but it is hard.  I want to hold him in my arms and tell him that he will be okay.  That everything will be okay.  That we will be okay.  My biggest fear is that I won't be able to.  But, I mean, maybe I will be able to someday.

I love Secondhand Serenade's cover of Fix Me by Coldplay.  It is such a beautiful song.  It makes me cry.  I guess I don't really know what the song is about, but for me, it's about hope.  Light will guide you home and ignite your bones.  I will try to fix you.  Tears stream down your face, when you lose something you cannot replace.

I just want you to know that there is hope.  Maybe I can't necessarily fix you, but I can be here for you.  I can listen to you.  I know you don't want a shoulder to cry on, but if you ever want to cry, I can be your shoulder.  If you want me to.

I guess this is just something God has put me and everyone through for a reason.  I know I could have it so much worse.  Right now, I have to remember my blessings. Just gotta wait. And have faith.  I just have to love.

I don't have any answers.  I just know there is hope. That is all I need.